Hey uguba ndubuisi, happy Sunday!
Before we dive in, Steph and are doing a podcast episode about "What happens when you lose a loved one?" I'll discuss the experience of losing my mentor to sudden death and my mom to suicide.
I feel like death and its aftermath are weirdly taboo topics that not enough people talk about openly. The end result is too many people suffering in silence, feeling lost, and living with regrets.
I'd like to nudge the conversation to a more open forum.
If you have any questions about this topic that you would like us to cover, please reply directly to this email to let me know.
If you feel that the question is stupid or insensitive or ignorant, send it anyway! I'm an open book.
💰 Rich life list
A core learning of my twenties is that after you have enough money to cover your expenses, more money does not make you happier unless you learn how to leverage it as a tool for enhancing your life.
Deep down, most people know this.
But when you look at their actions, they continue to sacrifice scarce resources like time, relationships, and their bodies to see their net worth number move up and to the right.
This is particularly true if you tie your identity or definition of success to your net worth. If that's the case, more cash may pump up your ego or make your friends envious of your sweet house.
But that good feeling you have about your wealth fades when life happens – when depression seeps in, when someone dies, when you have a health scare, or when you're alone with your thoughts at night.
Now, I'm not saying money is not helpful or that the pursuit of it is wrong in any way. If you want to pursue a boatload of cash, do it!
But if you want to have a healthy relationship with money over time, I think it's important to figure out how you can use money to drive additional satisfaction in your life.
The older I get, the more I'm willing to trade money for things that save me time, experiences I enjoy, or relationships I value.
Whereas in the past I let more of my decisions be dictated by cost, I'll now happily pay for a virtual assistant to do time-consuming admin work, buy a surfboard that will make my favorite activity even more fun, or take a last minute flight across the country to see a friend.
I can always find ways to earn more money. But I can never get back time, precious moments in nature, or experiences with friends. And those are the things that I want to feel I had enough of on my deathbed.
I don't want to be looking back on my life thinking that I missed out on what mattered because I was too busy worrying about how everything was going to work out.
I'd happily give away everything I have and start over to spend one more day with my mom. But I can't make that trade. When someone dies, life moves on, and all you have are the decisions you made before they left.
I think we should treat more of our experiences with friends, family, and romantic partners as if it were the last moment we have with them.
Because it may be the last.
So why spend 10 minutes figuring out if you owe $18 and your friend owes $22 for that dinner you just had? Just split it down the middle and have 5 more minutes of jokes and new memories.
This type of thinking about money was an adjustment for me. I grew up with very little money, and it took years of slowly building a cash reserve to realize that I needed to learn how to spend that reserve.
One concept that helped me is Ramit Sethi's idea of creating a rich life list.
Basically, whether you have a lot of money or not, you think about what you want to spend money on if you hit your money target.
You figure out why you're going to work hard and chase dollars over the years. Because if you don't think about it beforehand, you're likely going to keep shifting the target and continue to feel unsatisfied.
This exercise helps you proactively think about spending your money to improve your life.
A few examples from my rich life list:
1. Have a house on the beach with an ocean view, a big outdoor space, and extra bedrooms for friends to visit.
2. Never choose where to live based on the tax rate of the location.
3. Have a personal chef make a meal every Sunday for me and friends.
4. Always have at least 1 year of living expenses in cash.
5. Be able to take any travel trip I want without thinking about money.
Your list will look different from mine based on what you value. But having a list at least has you thinking about why you're pursuing the money in the first place and sets you up to spend it on life-enhancing ways.
Whether you're starting with a pile of debt or have a healthy nest egg, I think this exercise is worth doing. Because it's not about what you have. It's about a mindset toward money that helps you get more out of your life.
It's probably safe to assume that you'll always feel that you don't have enough money. And from that point of acceptance, you can figure how you can leverage money to get you what actually matters in your life.
P.S.
Steph and I discuss this topic and others in detail in our latest podcast episode about 80/20 Habits, Beliefs, and Products that have made the biggest difference in our lives.
🖼 What's the deal with NFTs?
Many people are excited about cryptocurrency and other blockchain-based technologies. One of the big areas of focus has been around NFTs (non-fungible tokens).
I initially wrote off NFTs as a speculative bubble that would quickly pass. But as more attention and money has gone into the ecosystem, I figured it would be useful to at least learn more about what's going on.
In that process, I stumbled across Justin Cone's NFT Skeptics Guide.
It's a pretty fantastic resource for getting you up-to-speed on NFTs in 20-30 minutes. He covers what's going on in simple terms. And he seems to avoid the traps of the NFT maximalist camp, so it's a mostly balanced view.
If you know nothing about NFTs and are interested in picking up some of the fundamentals, I'd give it a read.
🧘♂️ Just for today
Inspired by a daily program that I discovered by Sibyl F. Partridge in Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, I've been working on a personal list of principles that I can use to guide my daily efforts.
At this point in my life, I roughly understand what brings me joy, my values, and how I'd like to spend my time. But too often, I get caught up in the daily ups and downs of life, forgetting what's important to me.
So I created this list as a way to ground myself every morning. After I walk to the beach and brew coffee, I sit down and read the list of principles.
The basic purpose is to remind me that today is the only thing I can focus on and to ensure that I approach the day with the right mindset. My list is still very much a work in progress, but I wanted to share what I have so far since it's been really helpful for me.
Just for today, I will accept everything as it comes. I will take radical responsibility for all of the challenges I encounter. I will not worry about what will happen outside of the present moment. I will not try to change the people around me. I will be like a stream of water, adapting to and flowing past everything I encounter.
Just for today, I will choose courage over comfort. I will have the courage to embody the integrity of my grandfather, the compassion of my mom, the stillness of the Buddhists, and the humility of a warrior prepared to die in battle. I will be honest in difficult conversations, challenge myself to grow, and avoid excess.
Just for today, I will choose my response. When confronted with obstacles, I will try to see the opportunity to learn something from the challenge. When negative feelings arise, I will try to see the good and naturalness in them. I will not criticize, condemn, or complain. I will be grateful and not worry about what I don't have.
Just for today, I will take care of my body and mind. I will focus on getting good sleep and engaging in life-enhancing activities, like yoga, surfing, meditating, journaling, reading, and walking. I will get adequate sunlight, eat well, and laugh as often as I can. I will avoid activities that erode my physical and mental well-being, such as excessive drinking, worrying about the future, and heated conversations.
Just for today, I will focus on action. I will not be consumed by everything that I feel compelled to do. Instead of worrying, I will prioritize actions that must be done and that will compound to the results I want to achieve over time. I will complete those actions with my full efforts. Along the way, I will enjoy the process, as this may be my last day.
Just for today, I will pay it forward. I will embody the spirit of the kind & generous people I've encountered. I will find a small way to improve the experience of someone around me. I may write a letter to a friend, support a stranger, or bring a positive disposition to the world I'm engaging in. At a minimum, I will do no harm.
Thanks for tuning in, and see you in two weeks.
Cheers,
Cal
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